Your body remembers
Our body-brain remembers things, our mind-brain might have forgotten a long time ago. It remembers our past lovers who have been too fast, too strong and not in tune with our bodies. It remembers the grip that was hurting you, it remembers the stroke over your clitoris that was too heavy and didn’t quite fuel your arousal but de-sensitized you.
Your body remembers. She remembers the way you treated her. She remembers all the times you didn’t take care of her by setting appropriate boundaries.
Truth is: none of us learned that shit. None of us ever got taught how to say no in the heat of lust and arousal. When arousal heightens, the cognitive part of our brain, the part that can take smart and rational decisions shuts down. Which is great for surrendering and being in your body but not when you don’t feel fully safe and you actually need to say „Stop“ in a situation that has become uncomfortable, when something is „off”.
We have not learned this. And while we could continue to beat ourselves up, for all the times we failed to say our sacred No’s, to protect our sacred bodies, our sacred homes,
we can now start to own our responsibility and dive into this life-long learning journey in how to navigate the stormy and unknown rivers of our lust & sexuality.
And just the way we learned to ride the bike by falling and trying again, we need to know that we will -and this one might be a hard one to accept- we will find us in situations, that make us feel the pain again. Situations where we don’t pay attention to the subtle movement inside of us and when we might overhear our No’s. We will overstep our boundaries. And instead of taking those situations as food for your inner critique, let us see this as a beautiful and important part of the journey we are one.
Let us embrace the path we are on while learning and failing.
Let us embrace the harm we do to ourselves and the fact that we are trying our very best.
Let us love ourselves through the heavy times, the times we abandon us even though we spoke our vows to not do so anymore.
Let us be gentle with us.
That’s all that truly matters.
P.s: Ich freu mich, wenn du in unseren “Inner Circle” kommst. Dort teile ich Texte, die mir zu intim für die Öffentlichkeit sind und ab und an gibt es auch Angebote zu meinen Coaching-Kursen. Weiter unten kannst du dich eintragen.
DAS KÖNNTE DIR AUCH GEFALLEN:
. 7 Schritte, die du gehen kannst, um dir einen passenden Therapeut oder eine passende Therapeuten zu manifestieren, der*die dich optimal unterstützen kann. 1) Intention setzten und Absicht in dir bestärken, dass du einen [...]
Disclaimer: Dieser Beitrag gibt einen Einblick in Abschnitte meiner eigenen Forschungsreise und wie ich außerhalb einer Beziehung (sprich: als ich single war) meine Sexualität mit verschiedenen Sexualpartnern erforscht habe und was es für [...]