I’m doing it. And I don’t know why the hell it’s so important to me and whether it’s good or bad or whatsoever.
But I’m daring to ask that one question:
What’s needs to happen in my life before I’m giving birth to a new human being? How do I want this world (at least the small world in which I’m living in) to look like?
In what kind of environment do I want my kids to grow up? What kind of mom do I want to be?
And yes yes – I know. I’m young and still have plentyyyy of time. But still – no one in school ever taught me to put my life in a higher perspective. To visualize my life and start to find pictures that are worth living for. To ask questions and define my values: Do I want to be a working mom? Do I really want to send my kids to kindergarten and in school? How do I build safe and secure relationships, so there is a community around me to help me with this incredible task to raise a child which no mom should ever be doing on her own?
We live in a culture where it has become normal to be a single working mom.
And I know how it feels to be a daughter of one.
And I know – deep deep inside, from a still slightly wounded part – that I choose not to become one. But it’s easy to write this instead of going deeper and ask the question: What needs to happen in order to not become one?
Healing has to happen. Learning and growth.
Learning how to build those relationships that not necessarily last, but those who are filled with truth and love.
Learning how to build a community around oneself. How to build a tribe.
Healing the sometimes still bleeding wounds we all carry, father wounds, heartbreak wounds, first love wounds.
Learning how to love again.
Yesterday I was visiting one of my group meetings again. We gathered like a little community, cooked together, ate together, sat down and talked about the new system change that needs to happen in order to move closer to a healed world.
The overall topic was mother & son relationships. But what stuck with me was this:
We are all searching home. And for most of us, the first „home“ experience we had was the home we found in mom’s arms. Right when we left the birth channel. The first contact we had was mom.
Mom is home. And if there is no mom, there was no home.
And so it continued.
A mom who has not found a home yet, who is still seeking and desperately searching to find “home” somewhere outside of her, will not be able to provide „home“ for others.
I know where to find my home. And yet – there are many situations where I fall out of the feeling „I am home“. Where I start seeking and searching in the outside, again and again, trying to find something that I can only find inside.
FINDING OUR WAY BACK TO OUR SPIRITUAL MOTHER
Many many years ago we lost our connection to the spiritual mother. We lost our connection to the spirituality, to nature, to god. Especially in the western world, we stopped knowing what „home“ really means, how HOME feels.
And now what has happened is that we are putting all this weight and expectations on becoming moms telling them that they are the ONLY ones who are able to provide a home.
If mom is not HOME, embedded in the higher form of life, home in herself, home in her femininity – who will be?
So isn’t the question to ask this: What needs a mom to find home again? How can we give single mothers, mothers of all kind, the space and nurturing they need to be able to find their home again in the midst of pampers and the task to raise a child? It’s our job as a society and as a collective to do everything human possible to support a mother in raising a child. And to do the inner work to become home for others as well.
Because if mom is not home, no men, no newborn will ever be. And what this world desperately needs are men to finally come home. To finally find that source of unconditional love again, to get in touch with a higher universal form of love. So they as well can provide a safe space, a home for their sons and daughters.
And not just men, but everybody. Healing our relationships with our mothers and fathers becomes a responsibility. A responsibility we should all feel for the next generation to come.
For the children and souls, we want to give birth to.
Because they deserve to find HOME on this planet. To have a soft and gentle landing from the one world to the other. So let’s work on this together, that those little beings will find a home in any of us. Not solely the mom, but in every. single. one. of. us. Because in the end – we are all each other’s moms and daughter. Fathers and sons. No matter what freaking gender we identify with.
We are all walking each other home on this beautiful journey we call life.
And hell – isn’t this beautiful?
He du! Ich bin Kaiya. Schriftstellerin, manchmal Poetry Slammerin, niedergelassene Weltenbummlerin, Ernährungsberaterin (i. A.), Online Business Mama von diesem Baby hier, Coach und so viel mehr. Alles was ich tue, steht hinter einem Grund: Dich dabei zu unterstützen, wieder zurück zu deinem wahren Selbst zu finden. Und dich wieder zu verlieben. In dein Leben. In dein Frau-Sein. In deinen Körper. In Geld. In Essen. In “das böse System”. Ich freu mich, wenn du Teil meiner SISTERHOOD Community wirst.
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